Choices

People ask me why we aren’t married yet. Five years of being together, officially or not, was a lot of time for two people to decide on marriage. It was puzzling why he and I never got arround to doing that. People simply did not understand.

I could simply say we had reasons, reasons which were our own. I could say we weren;t married yet because we had many other plans of our own. Because, individually, we haven’t yet achieved or accomplished what we were supposed to. I could say we didn’t have the means. I could say he didn’t see marriage as a necessity.

Quite frankly, there are a lot of reasons.

It’s not marriage was never discussed. I used to force the subject into our conversations. We used to argue about that. He does not want to get married. I, on the other hand, envied my friends who did. I felt like the whole process of getting married was such a good thing to experience.

Recently, I came to realize that we have now is better. We are better together by not being married. I don’t want to get married anymore.

You see, I don’t want to get married because I want us to always have a choice. When we stick it out with each other, I want us to do so because we choose each other. I want us to work things out because we choose to do so and we choose each other and not just because we simply just had to. I want us to choose each other everyday. If we were married, we would have chosen to stay because we were married. I did not want marriage to be a reason to stay. I want us to stay with each other because of each other.

This way, we loved each other more and we’d always know that even when we both have a choice to leave, to move on, to stop, we will still choose what we have over anything else. And that, for me, was worth more than any marriage ever could get.

The Wedding Bells Ring for Jerome and Rowena

My cousin is getting married today. In fact, the ceremony could be happening as I’m writing this entry right now. It is unfortunate that I could not attend his wedding to show my support. But I am sure that their family and their friends will give them all the shower of love and happiness that they need on this special day that GOD has created for both of them. I am very happy that he has finally found the one person that he loves and he can spend the rest of his life with. Since I am not there, I am writing this blog as a tribute to him.

As a child he has always been funny. He has amazing Basketball skills, and he can dance too. As if that weren’t enough, he was also gifted with a voice that people could listen to without getting irritated. I am really glad that we became cousins. So, to both of you, Jerome and Rowena, Congratulations and Best Wishes. I am going to include the picture that I sued on the wedding giveaways (which, by the way, I made)… 🙂

The Greatest Advice

Again, I am going to share a very inspiring email message that I received last year. I hope that you enjoy this message as much as I did. There are really very good pieces of advice here. This piece was written by Rick Warren. Happy reading!:)

THE GREATEST ADVICE

Rick Warren

 

 

Don’t date because you are desperate.
Don’t marry because you are miserable.
Don’t have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don’t philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don’t associate with people you can’t trust.
Don’t cheat. Don’t lie. Don’t pretend.
Don’t dictate because you are smarter.
Don’t demand because you are stronger.

Don’t sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don’t hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don’t sell yourself, your family or your ideals.
Don’t stagnate.

 
Don’t regress.
Don’t live in the past. Time can’t bring anything or anyone back.
Don’t put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.
Don’t throw your life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

 
Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some of life’s more hasty decisions.

 

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don’t bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

 
To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don’t abandon your responsibilities but don’t overdose on duty.

 

Don’t live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don’t commit when you are not ready.
Don’t keep others waiting needlessly.

 
Go on that trip. Don’t postpone it.
Say those words. Don’t let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society’s scorn.
 

Write poetry.
Love deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don’t wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.

You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you – except YOU.

 
It isn’t true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.

Don’t be afraid. Don’t lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don’t lose faith in GOD.

Don’t grow old.
Just grow YOU.

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back.
Your time is your life.

That is why the greatest gift you can give to someone is your time.
Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.

Quoted… (Love and Marriage)

Today, I want to share my favorite love quotes. I hope that you get to identify with some of them. Enjoy reading!

1. Love one another, and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.
— Michael Leunig

2. If two stand shoulder to shoulder against the gods, happy together, the gods themselves are helpless against them while they stand so.
— Maxwell Anderson

3. When love is not madness, it is not love.
— Pedro Calderon de la Barca

4. When the one man loves the one woman and the one woman loves the one man, the very angels desert heaven and come sit in that house and sing for joy.
— The Brahma Sutras

5. A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems to short.
— Andre Maurois

Expired Marriage?

As liberated as I am, I still remain conservative and idealistic about some issues in society. I am not embarrassed to say that. One thing that I have conservative views on is marriage.

For me, marriage should be a priviledge. It should be a priviledge for people who have prepared themselves for a married life. In a perfect society, all marriages would always work out and couples would stay together and grow old together. But we are not in a perfect society, and our status now is the closest that we can get to being perfect.

Recently, a women’s party-list group proposed for a 10-year expiration on marriages. I am not going to mention the name of the group because this is, after all, a personal blog. Yes, I get their intentions, and I know that they mean well. I just don’t support it.

Personally, I think it defeats the purpose of marriage. When people get married, they vow to God and their families that they will stay together for the rest of their lives. What’s the purpose of those vows if you can just get away from it all after 10 years? What’s the point of trying to make a marriage work if, at the back of your minds, you know that you don’t have to be stuck with it for life?

Yes, there may be so many marriages these days that do not work out and end up in separation. But there are also people who really wait for the right time, who really prepare themselves for a lifetime of commitment, and who really stay together and remain happy. My problem  with the proposal is that it generalizes marriages as one big problematic scene that needs an expiration date to end the misery.

I have nothing about the party-list who initiated this proposal. I totally empathize and understand wherever it is that they’re coming from. But I will never support this cause. I apologize if I offend anyone, but this is just what I believe in. A marriage is not just a legal obligation. It is also a commitment that you make in front of God, and while earthly laws may treat marriage differently, its sanctity never changes with Him.