Jeffrey…

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Bratinella

I have to admit it.

I am a brat.

When I want something, I want it right away. If I don’t get what I want, a storm breaks.

Last night, my latest “want” was pizza. I did not eat dinner on a birthday celebration we were invited to because I only had one thing in mind: pizza. If it wasn’t pizza, I wasn’t going to eat it.

I’ve craved for pizza since Saturday. The thought of eating freshly made Calda’s pizza was just too enticing. Yesterday, when we passed by Calda’s branch somewhere North, I vowed I was going to eat pizza before the day ended.

I know there were so many ways I could order pizza. However, I wanted J to order it for me. I did not want to order pizza myself. I did not want to mother to do it as well. I wanted J to do it.

I was so heartbroken when he came home without having called for a pizza order, without even plans of getting me what I want. I really don’t know what was wrong, but I just could not get a grip of my emotions then.

I felt so let down. It was so petty, but at that time, it was such a big deal for me. I couldn’t even stop myself. I just cried and cried. I felt betrayed and disappointed. I was so excited to eat pizza, and when I realized I wasn’t going to get any, I just felt so sad.

I really didn’t know what happened, you know. I just could not stop crying anymore. Eventually, J gave up trying to sleep and left. I didn’t know if he walked out on me or if he was coming back. I couldn’t even care anymore. I was just too heartbroken over a freaking pizza, or the lack of it.

After almost an hour, J finally came back with two boxes of pizza. Not really the one I wanted, but good enough and still delicious enough for me. When I saw what he had with him, I just felt elated. From being so down, as in rock bottom down, I just felt like I was in cloud nine and the crying fit I had did not even happen.

If you ever read this, J, I just want you to know that I am really, really, lucky to have you. I am sorry for being a brat most of the time, but you have to know, no one in this world could ever care for you as much as I do. I am difficult. I am mean. When I’m mad I say hurtful things. But I never, not even for a fraction of a second, stop loving you. At all. I also want to thank you for being everything that I could ever hope for, more than what I ever deserve.

Streaks

Love is not perfect.

People say that love is perfect and that the lovers are the ones who are not.

However, love, in itself, is not perfect either. I believe the only perfect thing ever is the creator.

Anyway, it does not really matter if love is perfect or not. After all, the most beautiful things in this life are those that have their imperfections. I mean, what kind of boring shit this life would be if everything was just peachy?

A rose would not be as precious without its thorns.

The rainbow would not come out without a first having a little rain.

A diamond would not glitter if it is not cut and bruised.

I guess what I’, trying to say is that while love is not perfect, we have a perfect God who loves us BECAUSE of our imperfections. That alone is one of the greatest things to be thankful for.

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Fire

He and I are complete opposites of each other.

He likes to blend in; I like to stand out.

He likes to go unnoticed; I enjoy a dramatic entrance.

He prefers to fade in the background; I aim to get the spotlight.

He likes to shut up; I love to talk.

He likes to be right all the time; I enjoy giving corrections.

It is a messy thing, him and I. However, we do have our moments. Sometimes, there are good times; there are great times. So maybe things are a mess and things feel like a whirlwind, but it’s far more enjoyable ride. I like the arguments. I like the challenge. I like treading the difficult path…. because in the end, I’d know that whatever it is that I accomplish, I will be proud to say that I worked hard for it.

Because that’s what I am.

I am argumentative. I am obstinate. I annoy easily. I am proud. But above all that, I like working hard for something. I love putting in efforts. I love saying I deserved something because I gave it my best shot.