Sunny Days

I’ve had a full day today, a really good day spent with the greatest friends any person can have.

People have often said that to have one friend for life is already a blessing. Well, consider me super blessed because I don’t just have one really great friend, I have several.

I spent lunch until the late afternoon hours with my ACE team friends. They are the bestest (if there ever was a word) people in the world. Everytime I hang out with them, I always have the best time. And yes, everytime we come together, all we ever do is talk.

Still, there’s something that could be said about people you connect with in an unexplainable level. I won’t say we are of the same wavelength because, hello, we’re definitely not.

I could never belong to the same wavelength as Marie, whose knowledge and experience as a professional trainer is beyond words. I love how I learn so many things from all her stories. And even those things I already know about, I still appreciate it coming from her because it means that I, at least, know something that someone like her also knows. She is so fun to be around. Even her subtle jabs don’t feel like jabs at all.

And then there’s Tessa, whose fierce sweetness is simply adorable. This girl who’s very brilliant in mathematics and follows the logical side of things is possibly the best kind of support system anyone can have. I’m not sure how many personal things she’s witnessed from every one of us, but yeah, she’s always a witness, always present, always stable.

There’ also Coleen, that sporty chick who can probably outrun all of our partners. Well traveled and well-read, she can also sing the high notes effortlessly. When I was new to the ACE team, I remember people saying that she was strict, intimidating and difficult to please. Boy, am I glad I got to her good side. She’s this loyal little princess who knows a little of evey freaking thing there is.

And our resident nice guy, Jayjay, who we all hope will find the love of his life and live happily ever after. All nice guys always get that, after all. This nice guy was blind to all our monkey business when he was our boss. Thank God for that. But he has since made up for his naivete regarding our secrets and dark sides.

Let’s not forget Janice, the one person we all make fun of because, well, she likes to make fun of herself too. But we all love her that way. Easily the prettiest out of all of us. And yes, my man, Jeffrey, is completely besotted with her. Lol.

Lastly, there are the partners. Come to think of it, since we all met, I think I’m the only one who hasn’t changed partners at all. It’s amazing to realize we’ve already known each other for quite some time now, considering we’ve seen partners come and go, new partners replacing the old ones in our tight little circle.

These are the only people I’d trust to talk about me behind my back. I trust them because I know that even if they talk about me, they’re not doing it maliciously or with the intent of making me look bad to other people. It’s just that as friends, we all know our strengths and weaknesses, and we all accept each other in spite of all those.

The day I joined the ACE team was a really lucky day for me because it led me to this path of having them as friends. Even to this day, when we all have different work lives, we still manage to come together every now and then. I’m absolutely blessed to have these people in my life.

New

When I was younger, all I’ve ever wanted to do was write.

I wanted to be a writer.

I’m good at it. Not to brag or anything. I just know, writing is what I’m good at.

And I pursued it. For a while.

Until life happened.

Before long, so many other things became more important.

Work. Money. Reality.

I lost track. I lost my gift. I lost my passion.

I slowly became a robot. All work. A little play. A little vacation every now and then. But never any passion.

I’ve always seen myself to be the one who lived recklessly, the one who did not care about the world, the one who defied expectations. Unfortunately, I became ordinary. I became just another person who loved work more than life.

Yes, life happened. But I never got to live it.

Instead, I watched it happening, fighting it, making sure I get to be the last one standing at the end.

But that’s not the point of life. Not at all.

In all my efforts of making sure I got out of it unscathed, I wasted precious time. Time I could have spent on things that really made me happy – words, ideas, romance, artistry, inspiration.

But no more. I am not going to watch from the sidelines anymore.

Today is a new day.

I am going to live again. I am going to write again. I am going to challenge everyone around me again.

And I will live. I will cry and laugh and scream and shut up. But most of all, I WILL WRITE.

Exalted

Sometimes, we reach a point where everything is just how we want things to be.

When you’re at this point, be thankful. Celebrate every moment. Live every day. Glorify the Lord in the best way you know how. Say your prayers of thanks.

These moments won’t always last. But there is always something greater.

It is not true what they say that when you’re already there, there is no other way to go but down. The truth is, when you reach the peak of everything you’ve aimed for, when you’re already at the top, there is STILL another way up. You carve a way up. You defy expectations. You empower yourself.

Thank you, Lord, for everything you have blessed me with. I always ask for more not because I am never satisfied but because I know you can give more and you always do. It is because I have faith that you only give what is good. I know your plans are to prosper me. I know you will take me there.

You Can Shoot Me Down

When you ask a person to lead, supervise or manage, you are actually asking a lot from that person.

I don’t think most people realize that when someone becomes a supervisor or a leader of sorts, that person is not getting a “promotion” or a higher status symbol. On the contrary, that person is asked to give more of himself, to think of everybody when everybody else only need to think about their own. When a higher-up screws up, everybody else screws up. If only one person screws up, the higher-up is still the one that’s screwed.

A supervisor has to forego his own satisfaction to make sure that his subordinates are the ones who are satisfied. If he has a subordinate who’s difficult to work with, the supervisor has to be the one to stretch his patience and understand. If a team member is on the wrong, it is still up to the supervisor to apologize and make sure the team member feels valued all the time.

And what do supervisors get in return? Aside from a bigger paycheck, pretty much nothing at all. There’s really no price for self sacrifice, after all. If people depend on you, you have to be there for them at all times, even when they don’t want you to be. You have to be around at all times of the day for them to reach. You work longer because you have to act as a patch for all the holes left by your team. You have to be fair to everyone, even to the ones who are the least likeable. Being

Now you see, being a higher-up is not really a priviledge or an honor. It is a sacrifice that you ask a person to make. The only honor there is the fact that no one really asks a person to make a sacrifice if people felt like that person wasn’t complete enough to give of himself.

Anyway, being in he supervisory position has taught me alot about myself and my capabilities. Most of the time, I am full of complaints. However, I am also thankful I got to be where I am because these experiences have helped me in so many ways that I could no longer imagine how I’ve managed myself before.

Bratinella

I have to admit it.

I am a brat.

When I want something, I want it right away. If I don’t get what I want, a storm breaks.

Last night, my latest “want” was pizza. I did not eat dinner on a birthday celebration we were invited to because I only had one thing in mind: pizza. If it wasn’t pizza, I wasn’t going to eat it.

I’ve craved for pizza since Saturday. The thought of eating freshly made Calda’s pizza was just too enticing. Yesterday, when we passed by Calda’s branch somewhere North, I vowed I was going to eat pizza before the day ended.

I know there were so many ways I could order pizza. However, I wanted J to order it for me. I did not want to order pizza myself. I did not want to mother to do it as well. I wanted J to do it.

I was so heartbroken when he came home without having called for a pizza order, without even plans of getting me what I want. I really don’t know what was wrong, but I just could not get a grip of my emotions then.

I felt so let down. It was so petty, but at that time, it was such a big deal for me. I couldn’t even stop myself. I just cried and cried. I felt betrayed and disappointed. I was so excited to eat pizza, and when I realized I wasn’t going to get any, I just felt so sad.

I really didn’t know what happened, you know. I just could not stop crying anymore. Eventually, J gave up trying to sleep and left. I didn’t know if he walked out on me or if he was coming back. I couldn’t even care anymore. I was just too heartbroken over a freaking pizza, or the lack of it.

After almost an hour, J finally came back with two boxes of pizza. Not really the one I wanted, but good enough and still delicious enough for me. When I saw what he had with him, I just felt elated. From being so down, as in rock bottom down, I just felt like I was in cloud nine and the crying fit I had did not even happen.

If you ever read this, J, I just want you to know that I am really, really, lucky to have you. I am sorry for being a brat most of the time, but you have to know, no one in this world could ever care for you as much as I do. I am difficult. I am mean. When I’m mad I say hurtful things. But I never, not even for a fraction of a second, stop loving you. At all. I also want to thank you for being everything that I could ever hope for, more than what I ever deserve.

Burning Weekends

I know I’ve said I don’t believe in resolutions and don’t make any, so I am not calling this a resolution. This next thing I’m blogging about is more like something I’d want to try this year.

For 2013, I will try to do my best to make sure that my weekends remain “Weekends” and not extensions of “weekdays” and unfinished work that I leave off to finish during my free hours.

Last year, I sacrificed a lot of weekends by spending too much time working.

I mean, working for a couple of hours on a Saturday or a Sunday is fine. You know, as one of the leaders, I have to be available MOST of the time, to make sure my team is working as expected, to be ready for unexpected issues, and to clean up anything that needs to be cleaned up. This means that popping in, checking a few emails and making a couple of touch-bases and updates every once in a while over the weekend is perfectly normal. However, waking up in the morning and staying online and working all day or staying up until 4am on a Sunday night is definitely a big no-no. Not unless I actually own the company, which I’m pretty sure even the company CEO enjoys a great weekend. Being a workaholic on Saturday or Sunday will be crossed off my list of to-do things. Definitely crossed off. With a marker. In bold letters and bright red X mark.

Ironically, I am, as of this moment, still awake because I am at work. I am laughing at myself now, to write about keeping off of work but actually be working while writing. Anyway, I have to log off and say goodbye to the cyber world. It is time to work on this goal.

Hopefully, the Lord helps me work on this goal. Hello, great 2013 weekends. Let’s have some good times together.

I Will Stay The Same, But The World May Not

Hello, 2013. I am so ready for you.

Fire

He and I are complete opposites of each other.

He likes to blend in; I like to stand out.

He likes to go unnoticed; I enjoy a dramatic entrance.

He prefers to fade in the background; I aim to get the spotlight.

He likes to shut up; I love to talk.

He likes to be right all the time; I enjoy giving corrections.

It is a messy thing, him and I. However, we do have our moments. Sometimes, there are good times; there are great times. So maybe things are a mess and things feel like a whirlwind, but it’s far more enjoyable ride. I like the arguments. I like the challenge. I like treading the difficult path…. because in the end, I’d know that whatever it is that I accomplish, I will be proud to say that I worked hard for it.

Because that’s what I am.

I am argumentative. I am obstinate. I annoy easily. I am proud. But above all that, I like working hard for something. I love putting in efforts. I love saying I deserved something because I gave it my best shot.

Souls Departed

This post is a day late. My late stepmother’s birthday was yesterday. However, as always, I have been caught up in work and other personal stuff, so I wasn’t able to stop and write about something.

She was a fun person. She wasn’t the usual stepmother character that used to be portrayed in fiction where she had imaginary horns and always made things difficult. In fact, she was kind and nice to me. She did not treat me like a daughter, which was just as well because I honestly did not see her as a mother. I already had a mother, and I did not have the need for one more. She also did not try to be my best friend. When I lived with her and my dad, I was at a point in my life where all I wanted was to get away and go some place where nobody really knew where I came from, and I could pretend I had a pretty normal life.

I am thankful for the years I spent with her and my father. It was during those years that I realized exactly what I wanted to happen with my life. I realized I wanted to be on my own, how badly I wanted to be free. So when the first chance at freedom came to me, I grabbed it without any second thoughts.

I try not to regret anything that’s happened in my life, any decision that I’ve made. However, the only regret that I may have is that I never got to thank her personally. I wish I could have seen her before she passed away. I wish I was able to tell her that all is well. Wherever she is right now, I can only pray that she has found peace and happiness that may seem to have eluded her while she was alive.

Clashes

There are people in your life you will remember for always. You may never see each other again, but you know that these people have greatly impacted the person you have become.

I have so many people to thank the Lord for. As hard as life has been, I think I’d gladly go through all of the hardships again, if it meant I’d still end up where I am now.

I will always be thankful for the friends I have made along the way. I will also remember those people who have become a huge part of my life, even if it was only for a moment.

To my friends, thank you. To my family, lots of love. To God, you have my life.

Let’s celebrate happiness!!!