And Then There Was Me

and then there was me…

and i was laughing my whole heart out
that you were someone i couldn’t do without
and i didn’t know that it was true
and that my whole life would be blue

and i thought i could get away with things
that i could fight these confusing feelings
and i didn’t think i’d never be the same
i thought i was the one playing the game

and now there is only me, myself and i
and the loneliness as such I cannot deny
because all i knew of love has left me
this is as broken as one can ever be

so all that is left right now to do
is to get over everything, even you
because even if i live in grief and in pain
life and love will never happen this way again.

Listen to Me When Your Heart Breaks

The Heart of the Matter by India Arie

"It's about forgiveness…" This is absolutely the best phrase in the entire song. Basically, the song is about a woman who got a phone call from her friend telling her that her ex-lover has already found a new love.

My favorite line actually has a universal truth in it. Breakups are always about forgiveness, even when there's no love anymore.

Forgiveness for the hurt we cause each other.

Forgiveness for the wrongs we have done to each other.

Forgiveness for the things we could have done but failed to do.

It's about forgiving the person who has hurt you the most. It's about moving on. It's about not giving up the hope that someday somehow, we will find somebody new, somebody we may not anymore love as deep as we have loved someone before but somebody who deserves all the love we can give from the placed back pieces of our broken hearts.

Rise by Gabrielle

I'm not really sure if this song could actually help me get over a breakup, but it's worth listening to. The chorus goes "Look at my life; look at my heart.I have seen them fall apart, and now I'm ready to rise again."

They call it a breakup for a reason. When two people decide to go on separate ways, there are always devastating effects on at least one of them. When you go through a break up, it's not just the relationship that get's broken.

Hearts. Dreams. Lives. They all get broken too.

Unfortunately, wallowing in self despair and depression won't help. No matter how much your heart is broken, the world does not stop for your grief. The best we can do is to look into ourselves, find our inner strength, realize that even we are hurting, the future is still on our side. A day will come when our hurts will heal. When we are ready to rise again, we will find that, in love, no one ever wins without losing a few things along the way.

Doin’Just Fine by Boyz 2 Men

This song may not always make you feel better, but you'll have one good cry when you listen to it. Everybody needs to have a hell of a good cry when they go through a break up. Everybody needs to be able to get it all out of their system.

Breakups are hard. Songs usually work as a catalyst to getting over breakups or just to help you find it in yourself to take a good look at the relationship and realize if the break up will someday be a blessing in disguise or if the relationship is actually still worth fighting for.

Walking Back

The roads that I travel on,
The deeds I’d have gladly done,
All the tears I would have shed,
The walls I’d have painted red,
The times that I cried for you,
Moments I was black and blue,
The bets that I have all lost,
Paying this very high cost,
The risks that I failed to take,
Vows I never want to break,
The breaths I held just for you,
The things I just couldn’t do,
The lost ring on my finger,
The pain that seems to linger,
Words that I just couldn’t say,
The smiles I have thrown away,
The phone that will never ring;
When I look at everything,
Again, these things, I’d go through
For one more moment with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It has been a pleasure writing another poem for the rally. I want to really thank Jingle for her irreplaceable efforts in organizing this weekly rally. There is really no one like her. She is very dedicated to the poets. God bless Jingle! 🙂

I want to nominate Beth for next week’s Perfect Poet. Her poetry is very captivating. One could not help but read through all of her words, imagine the story of her poems, and be amazed at the adventure her poetry brings.

The Sun (A Sonnet)

My heart throbs as it never had before,
Ever since you waled right out of the door.
There’s this huge gaping hole inside my heart,
Ever since you tore both of us apart.
And all the days that I shall face alone,
I’ll live these days with a heart turned to stone.

My soul’s restless searching for only you;
After you, my dreams have never come true.
My mind is traveling a lonely space,
So much to wander but no friendly face
And all these nights that leave me feeling cold,
Without your love, without your hand to hold.

Where are you? I have searched for you, lost one.
Come back to me, and bring back in the sun.

~~~~~
I am very honored to be an awardee again for the Perfect Poet Award. Lord knows how much prestige it gives one poet. We all do our best to write the best and most thought-provoking or emotional poems we can ever come up with. We do this every week. We scour the blogging community to show our support to the other poets who go through the same process of creating a poem.

I have always loved poetry. I know that this is where I fit right in. I want to thank Jingle for the constant support that she has shown to all the poets. I also want to congratulate all the participants for a job well done. I want to pass my award on to William. His dedication to poetry is inspiring. Someday, I wish to accomplish the same things as he has now. *wink*

Fallen Angel

I wanted to write something light and easy today, but I couldn’t come up with anything like that. Instead, I am now sharing this poem to you. it’s a little sad, and tragic. It’s not my current mood, which is weird why I gravitate toward this poem today. I hope this one still gets a good reception from you, guys. 🙂

There’s a fallen angel on earth tnight;
She is loving someone out of sight.
See her heart break into pieces;
Wonder when the heartache ceases.

An angel so pretty is crying right now,
Looking for answers to the question how.
How can she make the guy she loves a lot
Love her the same way? He just does not.

Look at her eyes, see how they glitter.
They glitter with tears; her world is shattered.
The only time the angel’s fallen so deep
Is with a love that’s not hers to keep.

The world around her is darker than night.
She is the onlyone who shines so bright,
And because she shines, you’d see her sadness,
So clear, so vivid. You’d feel her loneliness.

Tear after tear run down her face.
It’s hard to understand love’s crooked ways.
This angel has cried so hard tonight.
If only things would turn out right.

Why can’t the guy see how she hurts?
How could he break an angel’s heart?
This guy is so lucky he’s loved so well
By such a lonely and beautiful angel.

Tearful Rhapsody

I look at you now, and I just know
That the time has come to let you go.

We loved each other the best we knew how,
But all the love in the world is not enough now.

The ring that once bound two people together
Now feels like cold metal, built to smother.

The bed that once seemed like a world so big
Is now too small for two different worlds to fit.

The nights that were spent in each other’s embrace
Are now just nights that pud an end to days.

The mornings that were always shiny and bright
Are just days that end up as a really cold night.

The hearts that once beat with a love so real
Are now homes to wounds that never seem to heal.

The touch that once burned with all the fiery passion
Is now a touch that hurts, a touch with no emotion.

The eyes that used to see only each other
Now flow with tears that couldn’t fall any faster.

So now, my love, I am finally setting you free;
I’ll never have the courage to say these things to thee.

I am writing this letter as my apology
And my thanks for the love you’ve given me.

No other woman can ever love her man
The way I did. I loved you the best I can.

And no other heart can break like mine does now;
No other person can cry as much as I had done now.

Maybe we will, one day, see each other again,
But until then, we know that this is the end.

High Altitudes

I decided to write a short poem for today. I hope you guys still enjoy it.

Words aren’t any good right now;
Everything’s just emotions burning.
I have lost all sense of thought, somehow;
I can see them all leaving.

It’s all a sad and tragic fate
With nothing left to do but wait.
Nothing else left to feel but hate.
Why can’t anyone get it straight?

It’s all of no use, and my head aches;
I’ve got nothing else left to say.
Knowing this, my heart beats and breaks;
There’s no one to take these hurts away.

I would also like to pass on this award to the 12 poets listed below… Please check out their blogs as well. I assure you that you won’t regret it. These people have written great poetry as well. I am giving them this award for all the time and effort they have put into creating beautiful pieces of literature.

1. Fiveloaf http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com

2. Brian MIller     http://www.waystationone.com

3. Jamie Funster     http://www.janniefunster.com

4. Beth     http://doubtfulpoet.wordpress.com/

5. Kseverny     http://kseverny.wordpress.com

6. Shakira     justmeshakirack.blogspot.com

7. Wordwand     http://wordwand.wordpress.com/

8. Datsme     http://justthinkingloud.wordpress.com/

9. Steve    http://gargoylesroost.wordpress.com

10. Gerarding Baugh     http://gerardinebaugh.wordpress.com

11. The Good Doctor     http://drj3kyll.wordpress.com

12. Gavroche    http://thinkinlikegavroche.wordpress.com

Heart

Sometimes, I get tired of loving you.
It seems as though it’s all I do.
Night and day, you’re always on my mind.
I really have no idea just why.

I don’t know just why I feel this way
When I know you’ll never feel the same.
You hurt me, and you break my heart.
You tear my whole world apart.

You don’t know how I hurt inside.
But still, you’re never out my mind.
Whatever it is that I feel for you
Will only leave me wounded and blue.

You have no idea just how I  break down
Or how my heart falls to the ground.
You see, all I ever did was fall in love,
Yet it’s with someone I just can’t have.

Sometimes, I get tired of loving you,
But I don’t know just why I still do.
No matter how many times I get hurt,
It’s still you who has my heart.

So This is Goodbye

I wrote this poem when I was fourteen, which makes that 11 years ago. I think I was about to go through a bad break uo when I wrote this. That’s why there’s a feeling of an impending heartbreak when you read the poem. Anyway, I hope you still enjoy it.

So This is Goodbye

It started out so fine;
I’m yours, and you’re mine.
We didn’t care about anything.
We forgot about everything.

It seemed so perfect before.
But now, there’s no feeling anymore.
There’s no more feeling of security,
And what’s left is insincerity

I can’t cope with or even understand
The reason why these all need to end.
What seemed to be so right and perfect
Would end up to be a matter of respect.

I don’t know what more to do,
But I can’t stop thinking of you.
I know nothing can change anything
But only worsen everything.

Is this all my mistake
To make it end in heartcache?
Or is it all your blame
For calling out another name?

Don’t say I never cared because I did.
Honestly, I really, really did.
If only you’d know, you’d be sorry
For not even telling me you’re sorry.

A friend told me my decision is wrong
Because I’ve wanted you for so long
That it’s not right to just let you go
For some reason we don’t know

It’s bothering my whole mind
Because of answers I can’t find.
Where do I belong now?
Now that you’re gone, somehow

It’s hurting deep inside;
The tears are so hard to hide.
It’s not easy letting you go
When I’ve learned to love you so.

I can’t focus on anything everyday
Because of the fact that you’d never stay.
I can’t think of better things to do
Than cry all my heart for you.

Everything was perfect from the start
And still would be, if we followed our hearts.
But everything changed, even our love.
Now there can be no more love.

So this is goodbye;
I’ll never know why.
It’s what we need to do,
But still, I’ll always love you.

So Much To Lose

Today’s blog needs a soundtrack. I couldn’t think of anything to write about, so I looked for a song to inspire me. Luckily, I found something. I’m not sure how many people knows him, but Erik Santos has this song entitled “My Love is Here”. Now, at least, I’m in the mood to write. Unfortunately, I still don’t know what exactly I should blog about.

Let me try this:

Sometimes, we lose love, and when we lose it, we are left too numb to even feel anything else. We stop feeling the pain; only the numbness remains. I should know because I have been through that before. Just because I found my sunshine now doesn’t mean I did not have to shed an ocean of tears in the past. I did. I had to.

Why are we so scared of love? We’re scared because we all know that nothing in the world is permanent. Love may always stay, but people don’t. At one point, we all lose the people we love. At one point, we all lose. Period. This is why most people are afraid to love. This is why most people think that love sucks. We are all scared. Some of us are just brave enough to face their fears, and I want to say that I am one of those brave people.

It is good to be scared. It only shows that we have something to lose. I have so much to lose. Because I love people with so much intensity, I know I am putting so much of myself on the line. I have so much to lose, and I have never been happier about it. I am at my most vulnerable, but I have never felt so alive. I know that life is not made up of sunshine alone, but I know that even when the rain seems so fierce, the sun always shines after it. I think that I can face any hurt now because I have gotten to know love like I have never known it before. For the first time, I understand love in all of its facets.