Hypocrisy and Personal Freedom

I watched Easy A on cable TV earlier tonight. I like that movie. I like the actress. I like the way it shows how difficult high school can be. I never had a hard time in high school, but that’s beside the point because that is not the reason why I am writing this blog now.

What I actually want to talk about is the fact that the movie depicts those who are supposed to be the “religious” crowd are also the quickest ones to judge. And I have to admit… That is sooooo true in real life. You know those people who go to church every freaking Sunday and tell the world how much they read and follow the Bible and heed the word of God? Well, they also almost always happen to be the most unforgiving.

I am not saying these people aren’t any good, and I certainly have nothing against them. I just wish, however, that these people got off their high horses. I hate to say I am judgmental sometimes, but at least I don’t pretend to be holier than anybody.

As much as we tell everybody that we now live is a new world, one that’s more liberated and open-minded, the truth is actually far from that. We are still on the dark ages when it comes to understanding each other and having compassion for others. We are still.controlled by the thought of “what other people might say” instead of what we have to say for ourselves. Unless we start remembering that we are only accountable to our personal God (and I say this because I respect other religion), we will never truly be free to become what we are meant to be.

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Take Me to The Water

Seaside

What do you think it would be like if you could fly? I’ve always wanted to know that. Looking at the birds when they’re on flight always makes me envy their freedom. To be able to soar and savor the sky, to be completely free from anything, to be peacefully by yourself… It just sounds so inviting.

However, I would still have to say that I absolutely love the sea. I love the way the water smells. I love the sounds that the waves make when it crashes on shore. I love the foams that form when the sea kisses the sand. While I envy the freedom of flying, I definitely can live in the sea side for the rest of my days.

So if I had to choose between sea and sky, the sea is the clear winner. At least from the waters, I’d still have the pleasure of looking at the blueness of the skies above.

Forgiveness is not a Requirement

They say that when we forgive, we set a prisoner free. That prisoner is ourselves. I agree. When there’s nothing to forgive anymore, when there’s no anger to hold on to, you’re free to move on. You’re free to feel other emotions. However, sometimes, some hurts just go way too deep that not even forgiveness can fathom. Sometimes, there are things done to us that ultimately change our lives. Lucky are those who find a better life for themselves after they have been through the deepest of hurts. For some, they are not so fortunate. Others get stuck at the twisted situation they get caught in. Other lose their lives because of the pain.

I am proud to say that I have come on top after being at the lowest of lows. My life may not have been perfect, but I would never have things any other way. I have had many people hurt me. I have forgiven most of them. Most. Not all. You may say that I am only stopping my self from being completely happy because I still hold grudges. You’re wrong. I never said I still hold grudges. I am no longer angry. But I will never be able to forgive. I do not think of these people anymore. In fact, I can honestly say that I wish them a good life, great health, and peaceful minds. But I would never want to have them in my life anymore. Not at all.

I have still set myself free because amidst all of these, I have forgiven MYSELF. Not them but myself. I have forgiven myself for my lack of independence when I was younger. I have forgiven myself for allowing them to hurt me. I have forgiven myself for letting them get the better of myself. Forgiving them is another story. One that is not mine to tell. Their forgiveness is not longer in my hands. What I can do with my life now is to live a happy and content life. I can only hope that they will not feel the hurt an disappointment that they have made me feel many, many years ago.