Forgiveness is not a Requirement

They say that when we forgive, we set a prisoner free. That prisoner is ourselves. I agree. When there’s nothing to forgive anymore, when there’s no anger to hold on to, you’re free to move on. You’re free to feel other emotions. However, sometimes, some hurts just go way too deep that not even forgiveness can fathom. Sometimes, there are things done to us that ultimately change our lives. Lucky are those who find a better life for themselves after they have been through the deepest of hurts. For some, they are not so fortunate. Others get stuck at the twisted situation they get caught in. Other lose their lives because of the pain.

I am proud to say that I have come on top after being at the lowest of lows. My life may not have been perfect, but I would never have things any other way. I have had many people hurt me. I have forgiven most of them. Most. Not all. You may say that I am only stopping my self from being completely happy because I still hold grudges. You’re wrong. I never said I still hold grudges. I am no longer angry. But I will never be able to forgive. I do not think of these people anymore. In fact, I can honestly say that I wish them a good life, great health, and peaceful minds. But I would never want to have them in my life anymore. Not at all.

I have still set myself free because amidst all of these, I have forgiven MYSELF. Not them but myself. I have forgiven myself for my lack of independence when I was younger. I have forgiven myself for allowing them to hurt me. I have forgiven myself for letting them get the better of myself. Forgiving them is another story. One that is not mine to tell. Their forgiveness is not longer in my hands. What I can do with my life now is to live a happy and content life. I can only hope that they will not feel the hurt an disappointment that they have made me feel many, many years ago.

Truth, Lies, and in Between

Lies. There's only black and white, right? You lie or you don't lie. There shouldn't be any middle ground. But that's impossible. It always has a huge gray area in between. Everybody always has an excuse why they tell lies.

Personally, I try to tell the truth. I always tell the truth, even if it's inconvenient. However, I am not a tactless person who will tell the whole truth without considering whether the person who hears it will love it or not.

They always say that the truth sets us free. I don't see that sometimes. There are instances wherein, we are better off not knowing certain things. We let our children go on believing in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy so as not to take away their innocence. We let them continue with the fantasy of prince charming and sleeping beauty. We do it because we don't want to ruin the fun from childhood. We want them to stay as blissfully innocent for as long as we can protect them.

That goes the same for lies. We don't always tell the truth not only because we want to protect ourselves but also because we want to protect the people we care about. If you intend to tell the truth only because we want to clear out our darkened conscience, then we need to think again. If we have committed mistakes and want to come clean just so we can live without the guilt that haunts us every sleepless night, I don't think we even deserve the freedom we get from telling the truth.

Yes. Honesty is the best policy. However, if your honesty is due to selfish reasons, then what good does it bring? Seriously. Do they really deserve the heartache? Should we tell them the truth, even if it hurts or destroys them, just so we can go back to pretending nothing happened and live our own little lives as if we never hurt anyone? I don't think so.

I would never tell the truth, but if I deserve to carry the guilt, I'd gladly do it. I'd gladly live with the guilt than live to see myself destroy the people I love only because I want to keep myself as clean as an unused white sheet. I don't think I would ever be happy anyway.

But that's all just me, you know. If you don't agree with me, you don't have to. We all have our own ways of seeing things. What would you actually do yourself? When do you think is the right time to tell a lie? Or is there never a right time for lies? I'd love to know.

Just so…

Here’s another blogsite that I would like to share to my friends. This is a linklog, though. It’s not like any of the other usual blogs that post ramblings, musings, or poetry. This blog here shares download links to ebooks.

Personally, I would much rather own a copy of the actual book. But I read ebooks all the time. That way, I get to decide whether I like the book enough to actually get a copy of it and include it in my collection.

I don’t know if any of you are into ebooks, though. But I’d just like to share. Please click the link below if you want to check out the site.

CLICK ME

A Dose of Vampires

Since I have been watching the Vampire Diaries lately, I feel like I should also try to share it to the people I know. Of course, I can’t share the links for the videos because I don’t have any video. What I do have are the books. Well, e-books, actually. But I want to share it to whoever wants to read it. Below are the links for the first six books of The Vampire Diaries. There is a seventh book, but it’s not due to come out until next year. I hope you guys enjoy!! 🙂

01 The Awakening

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02  The Struggle

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03 The Fury

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04 Dark Reunion

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05 The Return: Nightfall

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06 The Return: Shadow Souls

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