On Darker Waters

Sometimes, you have to distance yourself from the things you love and the things that hurt you. This is not because you are giving up. In fact, this is because you want to hold on to it longer.

When you are hurt, it is okay to need some time on your own. You need to find that place in your heart where everything is peaceful. You need to forget what hurts and move on. You need to come back on top from being under.

Do not be pressured to forgive. When you are ready, you can do so. Forgiveness is not a right that any person can demand from someone else. It is a gift. Just because the other person asks for your forgiveness and is sorry about things does not mean you need to be able to forgive. If you need time, then have it. If the person is really sorry, he will understand. If the person really cares, he can wait.

Do not be afraid to be by yourself. This may be the best thing you need, in fact. A person gets hurt because they have feelings, because they care, because they give a part of themselves away. When you get hurt, it is only right to find that part of yourself again, so you can forgive, so you can forget, so you can be happy again.

If you feel that your well is running low, do not hesitate to close your doors for a while. Remember, most people will rather gather water from a deep, drying well than take the time to fill it. Evaluate the people around you, so you would know who runs you dry and who’s worth running dry for.

Everybody knows that love is a gift, but not everybody remembers that fact. Sad as it is, it means that the people in your life will hurt you, repeatedly, for as many times as you can imagine. There is no perfect situation where everybody you love will only make you happy. That is the balance of nature. You will love people, and people will love you too. But some of these people will hurt you as well. The goal is not to find the ones who will not hurt you. The goal is to be strong enough to weather rough winds and storms until the skies clear up, and you can sail the deep blue waters again.

Forgiveness is not a Requirement

They say that when we forgive, we set a prisoner free. That prisoner is ourselves. I agree. When there’s nothing to forgive anymore, when there’s no anger to hold on to, you’re free to move on. You’re free to feel other emotions. However, sometimes, some hurts just go way too deep that not even forgiveness can fathom. Sometimes, there are things done to us that ultimately change our lives. Lucky are those who find a better life for themselves after they have been through the deepest of hurts. For some, they are not so fortunate. Others get stuck at the twisted situation they get caught in. Other lose their lives because of the pain.

I am proud to say that I have come on top after being at the lowest of lows. My life may not have been perfect, but I would never have things any other way. I have had many people hurt me. I have forgiven most of them. Most. Not all. You may say that I am only stopping my self from being completely happy because I still hold grudges. You’re wrong. I never said I still hold grudges. I am no longer angry. But I will never be able to forgive. I do not think of these people anymore. In fact, I can honestly say that I wish them a good life, great health, and peaceful minds. But I would never want to have them in my life anymore. Not at all.

I have still set myself free because amidst all of these, I have forgiven MYSELF. Not them but myself. I have forgiven myself for my lack of independence when I was younger. I have forgiven myself for allowing them to hurt me. I have forgiven myself for letting them get the better of myself. Forgiving them is another story. One that is not mine to tell. Their forgiveness is not longer in my hands. What I can do with my life now is to live a happy and content life. I can only hope that they will not feel the hurt an disappointment that they have made me feel many, many years ago.