No Other Woman – Not a Review at All

I was with my mom when I watched this movie. I have to admit, I watched it because Anne Curtis is my mom’s favorite. She watches Showtime everyday (I swear). Watching this movie was not even a question.

I have read so many reviews and comments about No Other Woman. Most of them had biases (no matter how objective they say they are). Some of them just wanted to write or blog about it, not really caring if the content had anything GREAT for the readers. So what am I doing writing about the movie when almost everybody has already done that? Well, to be different, I want to write about the things I realized because of that movie.

First off, INFIDELITY is obviously the biggest issue in the story. There’s this hot married man who, since he got married to his beautiful wife, has not LOOKED AT any other woman anymore. He has be FAITHFUL to her despite his colorful past with women. Then, there’s this sweet, beautiful wife who hails from a nouveau riche family and has dedicated her life to taking care of her husband, supporting him, and making him happy. And, or course, there’s this hugely interesting, one-of-a-kind woman who is an heiress to a great fortune and looks at the world and relationships in a different way. Putting the three characters together would be explosive (which is exactly what the movie was both as a story and as a money making product).

With that said, CHEATING is not the only thing we can pick up from the story. Of course, you will need to dig deeper for you to appreciate what the entire movie meant to you. It takes patience, but with a couple of minutes of thinking through, you will actually find that the issue of be UNFAITHFUL was not really what struck you the most in the movie. For me, it that’s exactly what happened.

Most people would think that Kara (Anne’s character) was the one who started off the entire conflict by being the temptress that she was and by luring Ram (Derek Ramsay) into an illicit affair. That’s because all this time, Ram has been LOYAL to Charmaine (Cristine Reyes), and it was only when Kara came into the picture that he went astray. I LOOK AT IT DIFFERENTLY. Sometimes, when women are in a relationship, they fear that some vamp will come and steal their men. Because of he movie, I realized that being loyal is a constant work. You always need to work on it. Being FAITHFUL does not mean that you have never looked at anyone else other than your partner. Being LOYAL does not mean that you have stopped being attracted to other people. In fact, it is the complete opposite. FIDELITY means that you look at others, you SEE other people, you become ATTRACTED to them, you might even go further and FALL IN LOVE with someone else. The difference lies on what you do with those feelings. Being FAITHFUL means that you still have these stirrings for other people, but you know well enough how to say no, turn, and walk away. That’s what RAM should have done. He SHOULD HAVE been FAITHFUL at that moment when his entire being wanted to jump into KARA’s hell fire.

As for the wife’s part, I realized that when a man cheats, it is not always the man’s fault, or the mistress’, or even the wife’s. Sometimes, it is nobody’s fault at all. Sometimes, these ugly things happen, and we cannot really blame anybody for it. We cannot say that it was the man’s fault because he was weak when it came to temptation. We cannot say that it is the fault of the mistress because she wanted a portion of a land that was not hers to claim. We also cannot say it was the wife’s fault because she let herself go, lost her individuality, and just became plain and boring. Sometimes, things happen just because they did. No one wanted them to, but they did. All we can do is fight for what’s ours, fight for what’s right, and forgive every other person who got caught.

For the part of Kara, I can’t say I have any conclusions. I guess, I can say that mistresses or other women fall in love too. It is not always about SEX and the THRILL. Sometimes, it’s about FEELINGS. Maybe if RAM had not been too nice to her, she would not have fallen very deep in love. Sometimes, they, too, are victims.

Nobody really wins when INFIDELITY is added into the equation. We all lose something. We may move on, but we will never really get back whatever was lost. I can only hope that I will never have to be in the same situation as Charmaine, Ram, and Kara were. To everyone, LOVE is BEAUTIFUL and PAINFUL at the same time. It is not always CHEATING and THIRD PARTIES that destroy a relationship. Sometimes, WE do that job pretty well. However, that is not the point. The point is that when we love, we love without question without boundary, without inhibitions. Hearts, promises, and relationships may be broken, but the DESIRE to LOVE and BE LOVED is far greater than these three.

Winning or Losing

What do you think of cheaters? I don’t just mean men who are committed to the respective girlfriends but men who are married and have children as well. However, even if they are fond of their family, they can’t help but cheat on their wives, lie to their children, and screw around with different women.

I know some men who are like that. I am not surprised by men who behave that way. I don’t condone or condemn them. I am only thankful that I did not have to grow up with that kind of environment.

We can’t stop men from “being men” as they say. If men really cannot stop themselves from cheating on their wives, well, there’s pretty much nothing we can do about it right? They already said it. It’s an urge they can’t control or probably lack to willpower to control.

I have always viewed cheating as a voluntary act. It is not like the muscles in your stomach working their way through digesting the food you ate. It’s not like your brain relentlessly trying to control all the other parts of your body. With cheating, everything is always controllable. Eveything is always under your control.

When you go out or meet with the person you’re cheating with, that’s voluntary. Your feet just won’t atomatically take you to that meeting place. You work  on your own to get there. When you get to the point of no return, there is always that moment when you can always step back or back out. There’s always that split second where you can still change things. It is always a matter of choice, of decision.

Maybe that’s why I have little sympathy for cheaters. I had a wild ride when I was younger, but I never cheated on anybody. I don’t like cheaters, but I still consider them human beings who judge fail to make right decisions all the time. Sometimes, we don’t have to think whether one this is right or not, we just have to think about what SHOULD BE, and that’s we should stand by our decisions. If we’ve already decided to have our own families, then that should be final. Anything else that comes after that should only be a test as to how dedicated and faithful we are to our own decisions.

I am not a cheater. I don’t want to be cheated. But right now, I can only hope to never experience the pain that people experience when they realize that they have been cheated on. 🙂

The Greatest Advice

Again, I am going to share a very inspiring email message that I received last year. I hope that you enjoy this message as much as I did. There are really very good pieces of advice here. This piece was written by Rick Warren. Happy reading!:)

THE GREATEST ADVICE

Rick Warren

 

 

Don’t date because you are desperate.
Don’t marry because you are miserable.
Don’t have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don’t philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don’t associate with people you can’t trust.
Don’t cheat. Don’t lie. Don’t pretend.
Don’t dictate because you are smarter.
Don’t demand because you are stronger.

Don’t sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don’t hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don’t sell yourself, your family or your ideals.
Don’t stagnate.

 
Don’t regress.
Don’t live in the past. Time can’t bring anything or anyone back.
Don’t put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.
Don’t throw your life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

 
Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some of life’s more hasty decisions.

 

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don’t bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

 
To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don’t abandon your responsibilities but don’t overdose on duty.

 

Don’t live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don’t commit when you are not ready.
Don’t keep others waiting needlessly.

 
Go on that trip. Don’t postpone it.
Say those words. Don’t let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society’s scorn.
 

Write poetry.
Love deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don’t wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.

You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you – except YOU.

 
It isn’t true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.

Don’t be afraid. Don’t lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don’t lose faith in GOD.

Don’t grow old.
Just grow YOU.

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back.
Your time is your life.

That is why the greatest gift you can give to someone is your time.
Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.