No Other Woman – Not a Review at All

I was with my mom when I watched this movie. I have to admit, I watched it because Anne Curtis is my mom’s favorite. She watches Showtime everyday (I swear). Watching this movie was not even a question.

I have read so many reviews and comments about No Other Woman. Most of them had biases (no matter how objective they say they are). Some of them just wanted to write or blog about it, not really caring if the content had anything GREAT for the readers. So what am I doing writing about the movie when almost everybody has already done that? Well, to be different, I want to write about the things I realized because of that movie.

First off, INFIDELITY is obviously the biggest issue in the story. There’s this hot married man who, since he got married to his beautiful wife, has not LOOKED AT any other woman anymore. He has be FAITHFUL to her despite his colorful past with women. Then, there’s this sweet, beautiful wife who hails from a nouveau riche family and has dedicated her life to taking care of her husband, supporting him, and making him happy. And, or course, there’s this hugely interesting, one-of-a-kind woman who is an heiress to a great fortune and looks at the world and relationships in a different way. Putting the three characters together would be explosive (which is exactly what the movie was both as a story and as a money making product).

With that said, CHEATING is not the only thing we can pick up from the story. Of course, you will need to dig deeper for you to appreciate what the entire movie meant to you. It takes patience, but with a couple of minutes of thinking through, you will actually find that the issue of be UNFAITHFUL was not really what struck you the most in the movie. For me, it that’s exactly what happened.

Most people would think that Kara (Anne’s character) was the one who started off the entire conflict by being the temptress that she was and by luring Ram (Derek Ramsay) into an illicit affair. That’s because all this time, Ram has been LOYAL to Charmaine (Cristine Reyes), and it was only when Kara came into the picture that he went astray. I LOOK AT IT DIFFERENTLY. Sometimes, when women are in a relationship, they fear that some vamp will come and steal their men. Because of he movie, I realized that being loyal is a constant work. You always need to work on it. Being FAITHFUL does not mean that you have never looked at anyone else other than your partner. Being LOYAL does not mean that you have stopped being attracted to other people. In fact, it is the complete opposite. FIDELITY means that you look at others, you SEE other people, you become ATTRACTED to them, you might even go further and FALL IN LOVE with someone else. The difference lies on what you do with those feelings. Being FAITHFUL means that you still have these stirrings for other people, but you know well enough how to say no, turn, and walk away. That’s what RAM should have done. He SHOULD HAVE been FAITHFUL at that moment when his entire being wanted to jump into KARA’s hell fire.

As for the wife’s part, I realized that when a man cheats, it is not always the man’s fault, or the mistress’, or even the wife’s. Sometimes, it is nobody’s fault at all. Sometimes, these ugly things happen, and we cannot really blame anybody for it. We cannot say that it was the man’s fault because he was weak when it came to temptation. We cannot say that it is the fault of the mistress because she wanted a portion of a land that was not hers to claim. We also cannot say it was the wife’s fault because she let herself go, lost her individuality, and just became plain and boring. Sometimes, things happen just because they did. No one wanted them to, but they did. All we can do is fight for what’s ours, fight for what’s right, and forgive every other person who got caught.

For the part of Kara, I can’t say I have any conclusions. I guess, I can say that mistresses or other women fall in love too. It is not always about SEX and the THRILL. Sometimes, it’s about FEELINGS. Maybe if RAM had not been too nice to her, she would not have fallen very deep in love. Sometimes, they, too, are victims.

Nobody really wins when INFIDELITY is added into the equation. We all lose something. We may move on, but we will never really get back whatever was lost. I can only hope that I will never have to be in the same situation as Charmaine, Ram, and Kara were. To everyone, LOVE is BEAUTIFUL and PAINFUL at the same time. It is not always CHEATING and THIRD PARTIES that destroy a relationship. Sometimes, WE do that job pretty well. However, that is not the point. The point is that when we love, we love without question without boundary, without inhibitions. Hearts, promises, and relationships may be broken, but the DESIRE to LOVE and BE LOVED is far greater than these three.

Truth, Lies, and in Between

Lies. There's only black and white, right? You lie or you don't lie. There shouldn't be any middle ground. But that's impossible. It always has a huge gray area in between. Everybody always has an excuse why they tell lies.

Personally, I try to tell the truth. I always tell the truth, even if it's inconvenient. However, I am not a tactless person who will tell the whole truth without considering whether the person who hears it will love it or not.

They always say that the truth sets us free. I don't see that sometimes. There are instances wherein, we are better off not knowing certain things. We let our children go on believing in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy so as not to take away their innocence. We let them continue with the fantasy of prince charming and sleeping beauty. We do it because we don't want to ruin the fun from childhood. We want them to stay as blissfully innocent for as long as we can protect them.

That goes the same for lies. We don't always tell the truth not only because we want to protect ourselves but also because we want to protect the people we care about. If you intend to tell the truth only because we want to clear out our darkened conscience, then we need to think again. If we have committed mistakes and want to come clean just so we can live without the guilt that haunts us every sleepless night, I don't think we even deserve the freedom we get from telling the truth.

Yes. Honesty is the best policy. However, if your honesty is due to selfish reasons, then what good does it bring? Seriously. Do they really deserve the heartache? Should we tell them the truth, even if it hurts or destroys them, just so we can go back to pretending nothing happened and live our own little lives as if we never hurt anyone? I don't think so.

I would never tell the truth, but if I deserve to carry the guilt, I'd gladly do it. I'd gladly live with the guilt than live to see myself destroy the people I love only because I want to keep myself as clean as an unused white sheet. I don't think I would ever be happy anyway.

But that's all just me, you know. If you don't agree with me, you don't have to. We all have our own ways of seeing things. What would you actually do yourself? When do you think is the right time to tell a lie? Or is there never a right time for lies? I'd love to know.

Winning or Losing

What do you think of cheaters? I don’t just mean men who are committed to the respective girlfriends but men who are married and have children as well. However, even if they are fond of their family, they can’t help but cheat on their wives, lie to their children, and screw around with different women.

I know some men who are like that. I am not surprised by men who behave that way. I don’t condone or condemn them. I am only thankful that I did not have to grow up with that kind of environment.

We can’t stop men from “being men” as they say. If men really cannot stop themselves from cheating on their wives, well, there’s pretty much nothing we can do about it right? They already said it. It’s an urge they can’t control or probably lack to willpower to control.

I have always viewed cheating as a voluntary act. It is not like the muscles in your stomach working their way through digesting the food you ate. It’s not like your brain relentlessly trying to control all the other parts of your body. With cheating, everything is always controllable. Eveything is always under your control.

When you go out or meet with the person you’re cheating with, that’s voluntary. Your feet just won’t atomatically take you to that meeting place. You work  on your own to get there. When you get to the point of no return, there is always that moment when you can always step back or back out. There’s always that split second where you can still change things. It is always a matter of choice, of decision.

Maybe that’s why I have little sympathy for cheaters. I had a wild ride when I was younger, but I never cheated on anybody. I don’t like cheaters, but I still consider them human beings who judge fail to make right decisions all the time. Sometimes, we don’t have to think whether one this is right or not, we just have to think about what SHOULD BE, and that’s we should stand by our decisions. If we’ve already decided to have our own families, then that should be final. Anything else that comes after that should only be a test as to how dedicated and faithful we are to our own decisions.

I am not a cheater. I don’t want to be cheated. But right now, I can only hope to never experience the pain that people experience when they realize that they have been cheated on. 🙂

Reruns

I watched a rerun of Ally McBeal last night. It was the episode where Billy Thomas died. If you haven’t seen Ally McBeal at all, then you have missed a huge part of your life. I can remember the days when their episodes made me feel like I was going through Ally’s heartache myself. If you’ve never heard about Ally McBeal, well, let me give you a vague idea.

Ally McBeal is this quirky and smart lawyer who is still single. The love of her life is Billy Thomas. They separated when they went to different law schools. When they saw each other again, Billy was already married to Georgia. What’s more was that the three of them had to work in the same law firm. Together with their friends, Richard Fish, John Cage, Nel Porter, Elaine, and Ling, Ally, Georgia, and Billy faced the ups and downs, the loves and hates of their lives. Unfortunately, Billy was suddenly diagnosed with brain tumor. The tumor was so progressive that he lost his life while he was doing his closing in the courtroom.

There was just so much sadness with the series. Yes, they had comedic moments, but underneath all that comic and laughter, the show was generally a sad one. It was the kind of show that did not leave you with a good feeling at the end of every episode. Before there was Grey’s Anatomy, Ally McBeal reigned over heartbreaks and weird circumstances. I still wish Ally and Billy had a better ending. But, like any other thing in life, we don’t always get the happy ending we all hope for.

The Explanation

For today, I want to explain the reason behind yesterday’s poem, “Found.” I feel that a lot of people may not really appreciate the poem because the message of the poem was not really laid out in simple words, like what I always do with my other poems.

Wednesday afternoon, while at work, I was listening to this song by the APO Hiking Society called “When I Met You.” For those who are not from the Philippines, I’m sure you don’t know who the APO Hiking Society are. Well, they are a legendary trio here in the Philippines. They have become a big part of Philippine music history. They have popularized, written, and produced some of the best songs that the Philippine music has ever known.

Their song, “When I Met You,” talks about the kind of love that changes a person. The first few lines go like this: “There I was, an empty piece of a shell, just minding my own word without even knowing what love and life were all about.” Then all the emptiness was filled when he found the girl who made all the difference. This is the chorus of the song: “You gave me a reason for my being, and I love what I’m feeling. You gave me a meaning to my life, yes I’ve gone beyond existing. And it all began when I met you.”

It’s a very beautiful song. It does not have just the poetic lyrics, it also has the melody that people can’t help but sing along with. I have loved that song for as long as I can remember. However, I suddenly thought to myself that not all loves happen like that. Some kinds of love start by being hesitant, repressed, even learned. Sometimes, we are not empty shells who are just waiting for the right person to listen to our hidden melody beyond the emtiness. Sometimes, we are the shining star that people can only look up to. Sometimes, we are achievers who are not searching or waiting for love at all. But love still finds its way to us. Sometimes, we do not even realize that we are already in love with somebody until the second that we are torn away from the person.

This is why I had the irrevocable urge to write a poem. I wanted to write a poem about a love the did not make the skies any bluer, the roses any sweeter, the birds any more melodious. I wanted to write a poem about a love that was simple, that never changed anything at all, that never made things better. I wanted to write a poem about a love that was just as simple as love can be.

The poem is about a love that did not make the sun shine any brighter. It was about a love that did not bring any sunshine at all. But during the dark of night, was always there, to hold you close, to keep you warm, to make sure you are safe. It is about a love that did not bring springtime, or any of the beautiful things. But it was a love that was constant and consistent whatever season you may find yourself in. I was about a love that was not new at all. It was not something new. It was a love that was familiar. A love that has always been there for as long as you had knwoledge of the word. It was a poem about a love that did not make two halves whole. It did not bind two people as one heart and one soul. No, these two people still had their own heart and soul, but they had the heart and sould that existed only for each other. Basically, I wrote a poem about a love that was not shiny, new, and beautiful. It was a love that was simple, familiar, and unchanging.

On Taylor Swift’s Album of The Year Award

With the conclusion of the 52nd Grammy Awards, the internet is now full of negative reactions against Taylor Swift winning the Album of the Year Award. It is amazing what people can say on their comments and their blogs.

I am not a huge fan of Taylor Swift. I think that she is just a simple artist who is getting more attention than she deserves. I also think that Lady Gaga or Beoynce deserved that award more than she did. But I also do not agree with all the haters who post very hurtful and destructive comments over the internet.

Let’s face it, she won the award. Why don’t we all move on? Wasn’t it just like yesterday when the airwaves were flooded with requests for her songs? Weren’t we, the general consumers, the exact people who catapulted her to the pedestal that she sits in now? The fact is, the people behind the Grammy Awards saw something in her and thought that she deserved the award. There is no need for us to attack her. She did not let herself win. We did. Whenever we talk about her, good or bad, we make her a little more popular. Whenever we make a comment about her performance, it only means that we watch her. Whenever we say something about her talent, it only means that we follow her career. So now, who was it again who made her into a celebrity? It’s the people.

I know that I am going to piss off a lot of people with today’s blog. But I can’t help it. There’s just too much of Taylor Swift on the internet now. Whenever I read the news online, I always get an article or two about her. I just think it’s so overrated. I don;t understand how people can react so fiercely over something they’re not even a part of.

Here are a few questions I want to ask:

1. Can we even perform half as good as she did when we’re on stage?

2. If we had our own record, would it even sell as much as hers did?

3. If our favorite artists screwed up, would we be fair and attack them just the same?

4. When we were just about Taylor’s age, did we even accomplish as much as she had?
If we think that our favorite artists are all better than her, then no one would actually agree on who should have won that Album of the Year Award. I think we all should just take it down a notch and get on with our lives. The Grammy’s happened three days ago. Isn’t it now time to let it go?

On Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt

I am one of the hopefuls who wish that Angelina and Brad will always stay together. I mean, look at how beautiful their family is. Their children are all well-behaved and so adorable. It would be such a waste if they sepated.

However, we are recently being attacked by such strong rumors that their breakup this time is for real. There are several pictures coming out on the internet about their falling out. Articles tell us that Brad bought a house for himself, that his family had always favored his ex-wife over Angelina, and that they have already consulted their lawyers to make sure that the separation will not be as messy as any other couple’s separation.

Until now, both parties have neither confirmed nor denied the issue. Althought there are a lot of unnamed sources saying that the breakup new is not true, a lot of other people are also showing evidence that Hollwood’s Most Glamorous Couple, Angelina and Brad, are really in Splitsville now.

All I can say is that as long as neither of them says a word, I will remain one of the hopeful ones. I have always supported their love story. I have always followed their careers and their updates. I hope that the rumors that circulate these days are just what they are- plain rumors.

Expired Marriage?

As liberated as I am, I still remain conservative and idealistic about some issues in society. I am not embarrassed to say that. One thing that I have conservative views on is marriage.

For me, marriage should be a priviledge. It should be a priviledge for people who have prepared themselves for a married life. In a perfect society, all marriages would always work out and couples would stay together and grow old together. But we are not in a perfect society, and our status now is the closest that we can get to being perfect.

Recently, a women’s party-list group proposed for a 10-year expiration on marriages. I am not going to mention the name of the group because this is, after all, a personal blog. Yes, I get their intentions, and I know that they mean well. I just don’t support it.

Personally, I think it defeats the purpose of marriage. When people get married, they vow to God and their families that they will stay together for the rest of their lives. What’s the purpose of those vows if you can just get away from it all after 10 years? What’s the point of trying to make a marriage work if, at the back of your minds, you know that you don’t have to be stuck with it for life?

Yes, there may be so many marriages these days that do not work out and end up in separation. But there are also people who really wait for the right time, who really prepare themselves for a lifetime of commitment, and who really stay together and remain happy. My problem  with the proposal is that it generalizes marriages as one big problematic scene that needs an expiration date to end the misery.

I have nothing about the party-list who initiated this proposal. I totally empathize and understand wherever it is that they’re coming from. But I will never support this cause. I apologize if I offend anyone, but this is just what I believe in. A marriage is not just a legal obligation. It is also a commitment that you make in front of God, and while earthly laws may treat marriage differently, its sanctity never changes with Him.

Love- Based on Kahlil Gibran’s Poem

It is not easy to love. Loving someone means that you are making yourself vulnerable. Even if that person hurts us, we have no reason to complain. When we love, we always have to expect the pain that comes with it. But love may not hurt sometimes. There are times when love just simply heals.

In our lives, we will always love someone who will hurt us one way or another. On the other hand, we will also meet that one person who will heal all the pain. Loving is not just a phase. It is a cycle. When we love, we are healed and hurt to the same extent. Love hurts us because we need to be polished, to be humbled until we are selfless enough to want nothing but the good of those we love. Love also heals for us to have more courage, more determination to keep loving.

The only question is: Are we brave enough to love even if we know what we’re risking? Are we worthy enough to find a love that hurts and heals for us to become better persons? Not everybody is blessed enough to find a love that endures and perseveres even with all the pain. If we are lucky to find this love, we should never let it go. Never mind that we also get hurt along the way. What matters is that we know how to love, and as a bonus, we are loved in return.

I am going to include a poem written by one of my heroes, Kahlil Gibran. This is a poem about love. I was really touched by this poem. I hope that whoever gets to read this poem will also understand the meaning of the entire poem. Happy reading everyone!!!

When love beckons to you, follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams

as the north wind lays waste the garden.

 

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

 

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

 

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

 

But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

 

When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

 

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Blind World

An eye for an eye, and the whole world would be blind. 

-Khalil Gibran

 How many times have we tried to avenge the wrongs that were done to us? We always follow that famous line, “An eye for an eye; a tooth for a tooth.” But is it really right? If we do so, are we really easing the pain?

Kahlil Gibran is one of my personal heroes. I admire him. I admire the way he thinks, and I completely agree with this quote. I think that he has it spot on. If we seek revenge everytime we get hurt, then the whole world would be hurting right now.

 We should really think hard before we do anything. In life, there will always be people who hurt us. There will always be those assholes who treat us like worthless junk. There will always be men who act like jerks and break our hearts. There will always be friends who are more envious than supportive.

 In spite of all that, our purpose on this earth does not change. We are here to make the world a better place. That should be the only thing that matters. People will always be people, whether they are here to hurt or heal. But OUR own lives should be spent in healing or helping others.

 Think about it. If we have to get even for everytime that we are aggreviated, then twe would all be hurting at least one person that we know. This whole world would be blind, and there’s no such fun living in a world where people could not see anything. We have such a beautiful world. There are so many other things to focus on other than the hurt. Life is too short. Why don’t we live it?