Streaks

Love is not perfect.

People say that love is perfect and that the lovers are the ones who are not.

However, love, in itself, is not perfect either. I believe the only perfect thing ever is the creator.

Anyway, it does not really matter if love is perfect or not. After all, the most beautiful things in this life are those that have their imperfections. I mean, what kind of boring shit this life would be if everything was just peachy?

A rose would not be as precious without its thorns.

The rainbow would not come out without a first having a little rain.

A diamond would not glitter if it is not cut and bruised.

I guess what I’, trying to say is that while love is not perfect, we have a perfect God who loves us BECAUSE of our imperfections. That alone is one of the greatest things to be thankful for.

On Darker Waters

Sometimes, you have to distance yourself from the things you love and the things that hurt you. This is not because you are giving up. In fact, this is because you want to hold on to it longer.

When you are hurt, it is okay to need some time on your own. You need to find that place in your heart where everything is peaceful. You need to forget what hurts and move on. You need to come back on top from being under.

Do not be pressured to forgive. When you are ready, you can do so. Forgiveness is not a right that any person can demand from someone else. It is a gift. Just because the other person asks for your forgiveness and is sorry about things does not mean you need to be able to forgive. If you need time, then have it. If the person is really sorry, he will understand. If the person really cares, he can wait.

Do not be afraid to be by yourself. This may be the best thing you need, in fact. A person gets hurt because they have feelings, because they care, because they give a part of themselves away. When you get hurt, it is only right to find that part of yourself again, so you can forgive, so you can forget, so you can be happy again.

If you feel that your well is running low, do not hesitate to close your doors for a while. Remember, most people will rather gather water from a deep, drying well than take the time to fill it. Evaluate the people around you, so you would know who runs you dry and who’s worth running dry for.

Everybody knows that love is a gift, but not everybody remembers that fact. Sad as it is, it means that the people in your life will hurt you, repeatedly, for as many times as you can imagine. There is no perfect situation where everybody you love will only make you happy. That is the balance of nature. You will love people, and people will love you too. But some of these people will hurt you as well. The goal is not to find the ones who will not hurt you. The goal is to be strong enough to weather rough winds and storms until the skies clear up, and you can sail the deep blue waters again.

Saying it Out Loud

When you love someone, you should tell them. Not because you want them to love you back. Not because you want to make a fool of yourself. Not because you have a right to say so. Not because you know you can stand by your word.

Love, in itself, should be said as often as you can. Whether it’s fleeting and momentary or whether its the kind that scars you for life, it should always be said. Whether it’s romantic, platonic, to any kind of love, we should always say it out loud.

It does not matter if the love goes away the next day. What’s important is that when it was there, you were able to let the other person know how you felt. If you think the love is never going away, you have all the more reasons to say it.

Let’s try that with our family. Let’s tell them we love them. Let’s build our circle of love, and maybe in time, we can make a bigger circle and include as many people as we can in our loving hearts.

Choices

People ask me why we aren’t married yet. Five years of being together, officially or not, was a lot of time for two people to decide on marriage. It was puzzling why he and I never got arround to doing that. People simply did not understand.

I could simply say we had reasons, reasons which were our own. I could say we weren;t married yet because we had many other plans of our own. Because, individually, we haven’t yet achieved or accomplished what we were supposed to. I could say we didn’t have the means. I could say he didn’t see marriage as a necessity.

Quite frankly, there are a lot of reasons.

It’s not marriage was never discussed. I used to force the subject into our conversations. We used to argue about that. He does not want to get married. I, on the other hand, envied my friends who did. I felt like the whole process of getting married was such a good thing to experience.

Recently, I came to realize that we have now is better. We are better together by not being married. I don’t want to get married anymore.

You see, I don’t want to get married because I want us to always have a choice. When we stick it out with each other, I want us to do so because we choose each other. I want us to work things out because we choose to do so and we choose each other and not just because we simply just had to. I want us to choose each other everyday. If we were married, we would have chosen to stay because we were married. I did not want marriage to be a reason to stay. I want us to stay with each other because of each other.

This way, we loved each other more and we’d always know that even when we both have a choice to leave, to move on, to stop, we will still choose what we have over anything else. And that, for me, was worth more than any marriage ever could get.

No Other Woman – Not a Review at All

I was with my mom when I watched this movie. I have to admit, I watched it because Anne Curtis is my mom’s favorite. She watches Showtime everyday (I swear). Watching this movie was not even a question.

I have read so many reviews and comments about No Other Woman. Most of them had biases (no matter how objective they say they are). Some of them just wanted to write or blog about it, not really caring if the content had anything GREAT for the readers. So what am I doing writing about the movie when almost everybody has already done that? Well, to be different, I want to write about the things I realized because of that movie.

First off, INFIDELITY is obviously the biggest issue in the story. There’s this hot married man who, since he got married to his beautiful wife, has not LOOKED AT any other woman anymore. He has be FAITHFUL to her despite his colorful past with women. Then, there’s this sweet, beautiful wife who hails from a nouveau riche family and has dedicated her life to taking care of her husband, supporting him, and making him happy. And, or course, there’s this hugely interesting, one-of-a-kind woman who is an heiress to a great fortune and looks at the world and relationships in a different way. Putting the three characters together would be explosive (which is exactly what the movie was both as a story and as a money making product).

With that said, CHEATING is not the only thing we can pick up from the story. Of course, you will need to dig deeper for you to appreciate what the entire movie meant to you. It takes patience, but with a couple of minutes of thinking through, you will actually find that the issue of be UNFAITHFUL was not really what struck you the most in the movie. For me, it that’s exactly what happened.

Most people would think that Kara (Anne’s character) was the one who started off the entire conflict by being the temptress that she was and by luring Ram (Derek Ramsay) into an illicit affair. That’s because all this time, Ram has been LOYAL to Charmaine (Cristine Reyes), and it was only when Kara came into the picture that he went astray. I LOOK AT IT DIFFERENTLY. Sometimes, when women are in a relationship, they fear that some vamp will come and steal their men. Because of he movie, I realized that being loyal is a constant work. You always need to work on it. Being FAITHFUL does not mean that you have never looked at anyone else other than your partner. Being LOYAL does not mean that you have stopped being attracted to other people. In fact, it is the complete opposite. FIDELITY means that you look at others, you SEE other people, you become ATTRACTED to them, you might even go further and FALL IN LOVE with someone else. The difference lies on what you do with those feelings. Being FAITHFUL means that you still have these stirrings for other people, but you know well enough how to say no, turn, and walk away. That’s what RAM should have done. He SHOULD HAVE been FAITHFUL at that moment when his entire being wanted to jump into KARA’s hell fire.

As for the wife’s part, I realized that when a man cheats, it is not always the man’s fault, or the mistress’, or even the wife’s. Sometimes, it is nobody’s fault at all. Sometimes, these ugly things happen, and we cannot really blame anybody for it. We cannot say that it was the man’s fault because he was weak when it came to temptation. We cannot say that it is the fault of the mistress because she wanted a portion of a land that was not hers to claim. We also cannot say it was the wife’s fault because she let herself go, lost her individuality, and just became plain and boring. Sometimes, things happen just because they did. No one wanted them to, but they did. All we can do is fight for what’s ours, fight for what’s right, and forgive every other person who got caught.

For the part of Kara, I can’t say I have any conclusions. I guess, I can say that mistresses or other women fall in love too. It is not always about SEX and the THRILL. Sometimes, it’s about FEELINGS. Maybe if RAM had not been too nice to her, she would not have fallen very deep in love. Sometimes, they, too, are victims.

Nobody really wins when INFIDELITY is added into the equation. We all lose something. We may move on, but we will never really get back whatever was lost. I can only hope that I will never have to be in the same situation as Charmaine, Ram, and Kara were. To everyone, LOVE is BEAUTIFUL and PAINFUL at the same time. It is not always CHEATING and THIRD PARTIES that destroy a relationship. Sometimes, WE do that job pretty well. However, that is not the point. The point is that when we love, we love without question without boundary, without inhibitions. Hearts, promises, and relationships may be broken, but the DESIRE to LOVE and BE LOVED is far greater than these three.

And Then There Was Me

and then there was me…

and i was laughing my whole heart out
that you were someone i couldn’t do without
and i didn’t know that it was true
and that my whole life would be blue

and i thought i could get away with things
that i could fight these confusing feelings
and i didn’t think i’d never be the same
i thought i was the one playing the game

and now there is only me, myself and i
and the loneliness as such I cannot deny
because all i knew of love has left me
this is as broken as one can ever be

so all that is left right now to do
is to get over everything, even you
because even if i live in grief and in pain
life and love will never happen this way again.

The Fight That Brought Peace

People who are married, are in a relationship or have been in previous romantic experiences know that fighting is inevitable. As much as we want to avoid getting into a fight with our partners, Fate seems to laugh at the effort and throws random fights along your way. It always starts with a petty disagreement that even sic-year old kids wouldn’t be caught fighting about. Then it morphs into a full blown declaration of war where two people emotionally or physically hurt each other. Sometimes even both. The culmination to these fights usually features someone walking out, some couples breaking up, and some wounds digging deep.

You can call me out of this world, but I think fighting is one of the ways you can prove to yourself how much you actually care about someone. If you cared enough to fight, to exert so much energy, and to lose your control, then perhaps, you cared about that person that much. Fighting isn’t about who wins. It’s about the person who cares more. Women fight with the men in their lives not because they want to be heard or that they want to be understood or that they want their man to give them what they want. Most of the time, a woman just wants to know if the man loves her enough to lose the argument just so he can win her back. I am not a man, so I wouldn’t really know what a man’s reason is for fighting with his woman.

A fight can cause unnecessary pain. What two people can achieve without hurting each other is definitely way better than what they can achieve when they are fighting. However, it does not always have to be bad. After a heated argument when someone usually walks out or (if you are lucky to have a partner who never walks out) sulks, both parties usually have time to look into themselves and analyze what went wrong. If you really love the person, you’ll see that a huge part of the fight was your own doing. You’d realize that, when the storm has cleared, you still care for that person as much as you can. Plus, after a great fight, there always is great sex. That’s probably the best thing I love about fights.

I recently just came out of a terrible fight. I would never say that I was wrong. I had a point. I had to stress that out. He had to understand that. But that did not matter anymore. The fight has ended. What’s important is that nothing changed between us even with all the fights we have had.

My relationship, our relationship, is a work in progress. Well, honestly, I think it will always be a work in progress. We will never be like any happy couple who think that they found heaven in each other. We are not like that. Every now and then we have these really huge fights, and sometimes, one of us lets go. However, the reason why we are still together is that whenever one person weakens, the other is always strong enough for both of us. We keep working at that. We keep working on our relationship. We both know that we will never have heaven with each other, but with each each, we have our lives.

Retro

I was going through my old blog at http://ishathebeautiful.multiply.com when I found one blog that I particularly like. Actually, there’s more of these blog entries that I always like reading over and over. It’s just that this one surprised me. It was written March 11, 2007. That was the time when me and LOVE weren’t really in good terms (in other words, I was in everywhere else but LOVE). I am surprised at how far I’ve come from the time I wrote this till today. It’s a good thing I already knew back then that LOVE needed patience and hard work.

Here it is:

 

if there are things i’ve learned in life, knowing how i used to live it not too long ago, one of them is the fact that if you want things to end right, you have to start them right in the first place.

happy endings only exist in movies. movies for the immature, to be exact. because the truth is, real life never ends. i mean, nothing in this life just ends. everything that we do affects us, molds us, makes us what we are, what we become.

it is when we learn to accept some truths in life that we become happy. sometimes, we make decisions, impusilve ones, that take us to hostile places. sometimes too, we do just the right thing and make ourselves happy.

i don’t know what i am doing right now. i am not sure if this is right. i am not sure if this will make me happy, if this will make everybody happy. but what i do know is that this feels right. after all the mistakes i have made before, stupid or stubborn ones, i have stumbled upon something i know i will never regret, even if it turns out to be a failure.

i have never been known as someone who gives up, and i am not giving up now. i can hold on. i know i can hold on. it does not take only a patient man to hold on the way i do now. all it takes is knowing how to love somebody. all will be well, i know that. and maybe one of these days, i can say that too.

Paint Your Palette

I want to thank Jingle because she has given me this award to decorate my blog even more…. She is indeed a very good friend and a gem to have. I am posting this poem today. I wrote this about a week ago. I know this should have been posted right away, but I wanted to wait until I did not have any personal issues anymore. Today just seems to be the perfect time to post this. I hope this satisfies you all, my talented friends. It’s a free verse, so there’s really no formal count or anything. *wink*

Paint Your Palette

If you were a color, what would you be?
Which color would show what you mean to me?

I could say that you’re the color yellow,
A bright sunshine with a golden halo.
A color that brightens up my whole sky,
Like the sun, with each day that passes by.

Yet you are the orange of a sunset,
Like what happens when we hit the reset.
You represent the end of one long day
And promise a new one is on its way.

I could say you are red, burning with fire,
Full of passion, of love, or even ire.
You burn me with a heat that’s so intense
There’s not much any room left for pretense.

You are the color of life; you are green.
All things are better than they’ve ever been.
You have breathed life into my lifeless soul;
You have made all parts of me become whole.
You are like the Earth; you;re my only home.
When I am with you, there’s no need to roam.

You are blue as the seas and oceans are,
As blue as the sky I see from afar.
Like an oasis in the desert lands,
You quench those who thirst and soothe their rough hands.

You are the rainbow that complete my sky;
I know I shall but love you by and by.
The colors that you bring my whole life through,
They are yellow, orange, red, green, and blue.

The Sun (A Sonnet)

My heart throbs as it never had before,
Ever since you waled right out of the door.
There’s this huge gaping hole inside my heart,
Ever since you tore both of us apart.
And all the days that I shall face alone,
I’ll live these days with a heart turned to stone.

My soul’s restless searching for only you;
After you, my dreams have never come true.
My mind is traveling a lonely space,
So much to wander but no friendly face
And all these nights that leave me feeling cold,
Without your love, without your hand to hold.

Where are you? I have searched for you, lost one.
Come back to me, and bring back in the sun.

~~~~~
I am very honored to be an awardee again for the Perfect Poet Award. Lord knows how much prestige it gives one poet. We all do our best to write the best and most thought-provoking or emotional poems we can ever come up with. We do this every week. We scour the blogging community to show our support to the other poets who go through the same process of creating a poem.

I have always loved poetry. I know that this is where I fit right in. I want to thank Jingle for the constant support that she has shown to all the poets. I also want to congratulate all the participants for a job well done. I want to pass my award on to William. His dedication to poetry is inspiring. Someday, I wish to accomplish the same things as he has now. *wink*