January 15, 2013

I have to admit it.

I am a brat.

When I want something, I want it right away. If I don’t get what I want, a storm breaks.

Last night, my latest “want” was pizza. I did not eat dinner on a birthday celebration we were invited to because I only had one thing in mind: pizza. If it wasn’t pizza, I wasn’t going to eat it.

I’ve craved for pizza since Saturday. The thought of eating freshly made Calda’s pizza was just too enticing. Yesterday, when we passed by Calda’s branch somewhere North, I vowed I was going to eat pizza before the day ended.

I know there were so many ways I could order pizza. However, I wanted J to order it for me. I did not want to order pizza myself. I did not want to mother to do it as well. I wanted J to do it.

I was so heartbroken when he came home without having called for a pizza order, without even plans of getting me what I want. I really don’t know what was wrong, but I just could not get a grip of my emotions then.

I felt so let down. It was so petty, but at that time, it was such a big deal for me. I couldn’t even stop myself. I just cried and cried. I felt betrayed and disappointed. I was so excited to eat pizza, and when I realized I wasn’t going to get any, I just felt so sad.

I really didn’t know what happened, you know. I just could not stop crying anymore. Eventually, J gave up trying to sleep and left. I didn’t know if he walked out on me or if he was coming back. I couldn’t even care anymore. I was just too heartbroken over a freaking pizza, or the lack of it.

After almost an hour, J finally came back with two boxes of pizza. Not really the one I wanted, but good enough and still delicious enough for me. When I saw what he had with him, I just felt elated. From being so down, as in rock bottom down, I just felt like I was in cloud nine and the crying fit I had did not even happen.

If you ever read this, J, I just want you to know that I am really, really, lucky to have you. I am sorry for being a brat most of the time, but you have to know, no one in this world could ever care for you as much as I do. I am difficult. I am mean. When I’m mad I say hurtful things. But I never, not even for a fraction of a second, stop loving you. At all. I also want to thank you for being everything that I could ever hope for, more than what I ever deserve.

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