Archive for January, 2010

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So This is Goodbye

January 31, 2010

I wrote this poem when I was fourteen, which makes that 11 years ago. I think I was about to go through a bad break uo when I wrote this. That’s why there’s a feeling of an impending heartbreak when you read the poem. Anyway, I hope you still enjoy it.

So This is Goodbye

It started out so fine;
I’m yours, and you’re mine.
We didn’t care about anything.
We forgot about everything.

It seemed so perfect before.
But now, there’s no feeling anymore.
There’s no more feeling of security,
And what’s left is insincerity

I can’t cope with or even understand
The reason why these all need to end.
What seemed to be so right and perfect
Would end up to be a matter of respect.

I don’t know what more to do,
But I can’t stop thinking of you.
I know nothing can change anything
But only worsen everything.

Is this all my mistake
To make it end in heartcache?
Or is it all your blame
For calling out another name?

Don’t say I never cared because I did.
Honestly, I really, really did.
If only you’d know, you’d be sorry
For not even telling me you’re sorry.

A friend told me my decision is wrong
Because I’ve wanted you for so long
That it’s not right to just let you go
For some reason we don’t know

It’s bothering my whole mind
Because of answers I can’t find.
Where do I belong now?
Now that you’re gone, somehow

It’s hurting deep inside;
The tears are so hard to hide.
It’s not easy letting you go
When I’ve learned to love you so.

I can’t focus on anything everyday
Because of the fact that you’d never stay.
I can’t think of better things to do
Than cry all my heart for you.

Everything was perfect from the start
And still would be, if we followed our hearts.
But everything changed, even our love.
Now there can be no more love.

So this is goodbye;
I’ll never know why.
It’s what we need to do,
But still, I’ll always love you.

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The Best Kind of Love

January 30, 2010

A friend sent me an email message which was pretty inspiring. I am sharing it to you guys. Even if you’re not in love, you will find this article very moving. It was written by Annette Paxman Bowen. She is an author and has written a couple of very good books. You may want to google her out if you want to read more from her. This one is call “The Best Kind of Love”.

The Best Kind of Love
Annette Paxman Bowen


I have a friend who is falling in love. She honestly claims the sky is bluer. Mozart moves her to tears. She has lost 15 pounds and looks like a cover girl. “I am young again!” she shouts exuberantly.

As my friend raves on about her new love, I’ve taken a good look at my old one. My husband of almost 20 years, Scott, has gained 15 pounds. Once a marathon runner, he now runs only down hospital halls. His hairline is receding and his body shows signs of long working hours and too many candy bars. Yet he can still give me a certain look across a restaurant table and I want to ask for the check and head home.

When my friend asked me “What will make this love last?” I ran through all the obvious reasons: commitment, shared interests, unselfishness, physical attraction, and communication.

Yet there’s more. We still have fun. Spontaneous good times. Yesterday, after slipping the rubber band off the rolled newspaper, Scott flipped it playfully at me: this led to an all-out war. Last Saturday at the grocery, we split the list and raced each other to see who could make it to the checkout first. Even washing dishes can be a blast. We enjoy simply being together.

And there are surprises.

One time I came home to find a note on the front door that led me to another note, then another, until I reached the walk-in closet. I opened the door to find Scott holding a “pot of gold” (my cooking kettle) and the “treasure” of a gift package. Sometimes I leave him notes on the mirror and little presents under his pillow.

There is understanding.

I understand why he must play basketball with the guys. And he understands why, once a year, I must get away from the house, the kids – and even him – to meet my sisters for a few days of nonstop talking and laughing.

There is sharing.
Not only do we share household worries and parental burdens – we also share ideas. Scott came home from a convention last month and presented me with a thick historical novel. Though he prefers thrillers and science fiction, he had read the novel on the plane. He touched my heart when he explained it was because he wanted to be able to exchange ideas about the book after I’d read it.

There is forgiveness.

When I’m embarrassingly loud and crazy at parties, Scott forgives me. When he confessed losing some of our savings in the stock market, I gave him a hug and said, “It’s okay. It’s only money.”

There is sensitivity.

Last week he walked through the door with that look that tells me it’s been a tough day. After he spent some time with the kids, I asked him what happened. He told me about a 60-year old woman that had a stroke. He wept as he recalled the woman’s husband standing beside her bed, caressing her hand. How was he going to tell this husband of 40 years that his wife would probably never recover? I shed a few tears myself.

Because of the medical crisis. Because there were still people who have been married 40 years. Because my husband is still moved and concerned after years of hospital rooms and dying patients.

There is faith.

Last Tuesday a friend came over and confessed her fear that her husband is losing his courageous battle with cancer. On Wednesday I went to lunch with a friend who is struggling to reshape her life after divorce. On Thursday a neighbor called to talk about the frightening effects of Alzheimer’s disease on her father-in-law’s personality. On Friday a childhood friend called long-distance to tell me her father had died. I hung up the phone and thought, This is too much heartache for one week.

Through my tears, as I went out to run some errands, I noticed the boisterous orange blossoms of the gladiolus outside my window. I heard the delighted laughter of my son and his friend as they played. I caught sight of a wedding party emerging from a neighbor’s house. The bride, dressed in satin and lace, tossed her bouquet to her cheering friends. That night, I told my husband about these events. We helped each other acknowledge the cycles of life and that the joys counter the sorrows. It was enough to keep us going.

Finally, there is knowing.

I know Scott will throw his laundry just shy of the hamper every night; he’ll be late to most appointments and eat the last chocolate in the box. He knows that I sleep with a pillow over my head.

I guess our love lasts because it is comfortable. No, the sky is not bluer:
it’s just a familiar hue. We don’t feel particularly young: we’ve experienced too much that has contributed to our growth and wisdom, taking its toll on our bodies, and created our memories. I hope we’ve got what it takes to make our love last. As a bride, I had Scott’s wedding band engraved with Robert Browning’s line “Grow old along with me!”

We’re following those instructions. “If anything is real, the heart will make it plain.” There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn’t expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some love that don’t go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be blessed to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity. Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever.

Hope you find this kind of love in your life.

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Auguries of Innocence

January 29, 2010

When I was younger, I was such a fan for poetry. I had a long list of favorites. Today, I recalled my favorites because of JD Salinger’s death. I know this poem has nothing to do with Salinger, but this poem has always been one of my favorites. If you watched Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, this poem should sound familiar. I am sharing this work by William Blake, also one of my favorite literary masters. I hope you enjoy what I have always enjoyed. 🙂

 

 

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

A Robin Red breast in a Cage
Puts all Heaven in a Rage.
A dove house fill’d with doves & Pigeons
Shudders Hell thro’ all its regions.
A dog starv’d at his Master’s Gate
Predicts the ruin of the State.
A Horse misus’d upon the Road
Calls to Heaven for Human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted Hare
A fibre from the Brain does tear.
A Skylark wounded in the wing,
A Cherubim does cease to sing.
The Game Cock clipp’d and arm’d for fight
Does the Rising Sun affright.
Every Wolf’s & Lion’s howl
Raises from Hell a Human Soul.
The wild deer, wand’ring here & there,
Keeps the Human Soul from Care.
The Lamb misus’d breeds public strife
And yet forgives the Butcher’s Knife.
The Bat that flits at close of Eve
Has left the Brain that won’t believe.
The Owl that calls upon the Night
Speaks the Unbeliever’s fright.
He who shall hurt the little Wren
Shall never be belov’d by Men.
He who the Ox to wrath has mov’d
Shall never be by Woman lov’d.
The wanton Boy that kills the Fly
Shall feel the Spider’s enmity.
He who torments the Chafer’s sprite
Weaves a Bower in endless Night.
The Catterpillar on the Leaf
Repeats to thee thy Mother’s grief.
Kill not the Moth nor Butterfly,
For the Last Judgement draweth nigh.
He who shall train the Horse to War
Shall never pass the Polar Bar.
The Beggar’s Dog & Widow’s Cat,
Feed them & thou wilt grow fat.
The Gnat that sings his Summer’s song
Poison gets from Slander’s tongue.
The poison of the Snake & Newt
Is the sweat of Envy’s Foot.
The poison of the Honey Bee
Is the Artist’s Jealousy.
The Prince’s Robes & Beggars’ Rags
Are Toadstools on the Miser’s Bags.
A truth that’s told with bad intent
Beats all the Lies you can invent.
It is right it should be so;
Man was made for Joy & Woe;
And when this we rightly know
Thro’ the World we safely go.
Joy & Woe are woven fine,
A Clothing for the Soul divine;
Under every grief & pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
The Babe is more than swadling Bands;
Throughout all these Human Lands
Tools were made, & born were hands,
Every Farmer Understands.
Every Tear from Every Eye
Becomes a Babe in Eternity.
This is caught by Females bright
And return’d to its own delight.
The Bleat, the Bark, Bellow & Roar
Are Waves that Beat on Heaven’s Shore.
The Babe that weeps the Rod beneath
Writes Revenge in realms of death.
The Beggar’s Rags, fluttering in Air,
Does to Rags the Heavens tear.
The Soldier arm’d with Sword & Gun,
Palsied strikes the Summer’s Sun.
The poor Man’s Farthing is worth more
Than all the Gold on Afric’s Shore.
One Mite wrung from the Labrer’s hands
Shall buy & sell the Miser’s lands:
Or, if protected from on high,
Does that whole Nation sell & buy.
He who mocks the Infant’s Faith
Shall be mock’d in Age & Death.
He who shall teach the Child to Doubt
The rotting Grave shall ne’er get out.
He who respects the Infant’s faith
Triumph’s over Hell & Death.
The Child’s Toys & the Old Man’s Reasons
Are the Fruits of the Two seasons.
The Questioner, who sits so sly,
Shall never know how to Reply.
He who replies to words of Doubt
Doth put the Light of Knowledge out.
The Strongest Poison ever known
Came from Caesar’s Laurel Crown.
Nought can deform the Human Race
Like the Armour’s iron brace.
When Gold & Gems adorn the Plow
To peaceful Arts shall Envy Bow.
A Riddle or the Cricket’s Cry
Is to Doubt a fit Reply.
The Emmet’s Inch & Eagle’s Mile
Make Lame Philosophy to smile.
He who Doubts from what he sees
Will ne’er believe, do what you Please.
If the Sun & Moon should doubt
They’d immediately Go out.
To be in a Passion you Good may do,
But no Good if a Passion is in you.
The Whore & Gambler, by the State
Licenc’d, build that Nation’s Fate.
The Harlot’s cry from Street to Street
Shall weave Old England’s winding Sheet.
The Winner’s Shout, the Loser’s Curse,
Dance before dead England’s Hearse.
Every Night & every Morn
Some to Misery are Born.
Every Morn & every Night
Some are Born to sweet Delight.
Some ar Born to sweet Delight,
Some are born to Endless Night.
We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro’ the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to Perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light.
God Appears & God is Light
To those poor Souls who dwell in the Night,
But does a Human Form Display
To those who Dwell in Realms of day.

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Disney Heroes Like You’ve Never Seen Them Before

January 28, 2010

I found a very interesting portfolio in Deviantart. It’s from a person who uses the username David Kawena. I don’t know if that’s a real name, but I was really amazed at his artworks. I’m going to just feature 21 of his creations here. These are pictures of our Disney heroes. However, they are depicted as sexy gods in the pictures. Just click the pictures to enlarge your view. *wink* You may also visit David’s site at http://davidkawena.deviantart.com

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On Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt

January 27, 2010

I am one of the hopefuls who wish that Angelina and Brad will always stay together. I mean, look at how beautiful their family is. Their children are all well-behaved and so adorable. It would be such a waste if they sepated.

However, we are recently being attacked by such strong rumors that their breakup this time is for real. There are several pictures coming out on the internet about their falling out. Articles tell us that Brad bought a house for himself, that his family had always favored his ex-wife over Angelina, and that they have already consulted their lawyers to make sure that the separation will not be as messy as any other couple’s separation.

Until now, both parties have neither confirmed nor denied the issue. Althought there are a lot of unnamed sources saying that the breakup new is not true, a lot of other people are also showing evidence that Hollwood’s Most Glamorous Couple, Angelina and Brad, are really in Splitsville now.

All I can say is that as long as neither of them says a word, I will remain one of the hopeful ones. I have always supported their love story. I have always followed their careers and their updates. I hope that the rumors that circulate these days are just what they are- plain rumors.

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The 2010 Screen Actors Guild Awards Nominees and Winners

January 26, 2010

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role

– George Clooney (Up in The Air)
– Colin Firth (A Single Man)
– Morgan Freeman (Invictus)
– Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker)
Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart)
Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role

– Helen Mirren (The Last Station)
– Carey Mulligan (An Education)
– Gabourney Sidibe (Precious)
– Meryl Streep (Julie and Julia)
Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side)
Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role

– Matt Damon (Invictus)
– Woody Harrelson (The Messenger)
– Christopher Plummer (The Last Station)
– Stanley Tucci (The Lovely Bones)
Christopher Waltz (Inglorious Basterds)
Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role

– Penelope Cruz (Nine)
– Vera Farmiga (Up in The Air)
– Anna Kendrick (Up in The Air)
– Diane Kruger (Inglorious Basterds)
Mo’Nique (Precious)
Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture

– An Education
– The Hurt Locker
– Nine
– Precious: Based on The Novel Push by Sapphire
Inglorious Basterds
Outstanding Performance by a Stunt Ensemble in a Motion Picture

– Public Enemies
– Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen
Star Trek
Outstanding Ensmeble – Drama Series

– The Closer
– Dexter
– The Good Wife
Mad Men
– True Blood
Outstanding Male Actor – Drama Series

– Simone Baker (The Mentalist)
– Brian Cranston (Breaking Bad)
Michael C. Hall (Dexter)
– Jon Hamm (Mad Men)
– Hugh Laurie (House)
Outstanding Female Actor – Drama Series

– Patricia Arquette (Medium)
– Glenn Close (Damages)
– Mariska Hargitay (Law and Order: SVU)
Juliana Margulies (The Good Wife)
– Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer)
Outstanding Male Actor – TV Miniseries

Kevin Bacon (Taking Chance)
– Cuba Gooding Jr. (Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story)
– Jeremy Irons (Georgia O’Keeffe)
– Kevin Kline (Great Performances: Cyrano de Bergerac)
– Tom Wilkinson (A Number)
Outstanding Femaile Actor – TV Miniseries

– Joan Allen (Georgia O’Keefe)
Drew Barrymore (Grey Gardens)
– Ruby Dee (America)
– Jessica Lang (Grey Gardens)
– Sigourney Weaver (Prayers for Bobby)
Outstanding Male Actor – Comedy

Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)
– Steve Carell (The Office)
– Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm)
– Tony Shalhoub (Monk)
– Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men)
Outstanding Female Actor – Comedy

Tina Fey (30 Rock)
– Christina Applegate (Samantha Who?)
– Toni Collette (United States of Tara)
– Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie)
– Julia Louis-Dreyfus (The New Adventures of Old Christine)
Outstanding Ensemble in a Drama Series

Mad Men
– The Closer
– Dexter
– The Good Wife
– True Blood
Outstanding Ensemble in a Comedy Series

Glee
– 30 Rock
– Curb Your Enthusiasm
– Modern Family
– The Office
Life Achievement Award

Betty White

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Attached?

January 25, 2010

The Attachment Theory is a psychological, evolutionary, and ethological theory that concerns relationships among humans. This theory was formulated by John Bowlby, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst. The theory implies that a young child needs to develop a relationship with at least one primary caregiver for social and emotional development.

The theory also believes that an infant behavior associated with attachment is promarily seeking the proximity to an attachment figure in stressful situations. Infant become attacged to adults who are sensitive and responsive to them and who remain consistent caregivers for months during the period from six months to two years of age.

This is just one of the things I learned today. I had no idea that our sense of attachment actually had a theory. I have always been attached to my family. I just thought it’s because that’s how society functions. At least now I know that there was actaulyl an entire scientific study dedicated just for this. 🙂

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